pointe shoes

Who invented pointe shoes anyway?

A man, I think.

To elongate the leg and create places of pleasure

for eyes to trace uninterrupted.

Sitting atop something sensual but seemingly pure at once

But never admittedly so.

I bled once while onstage, popping an angry blister in the imprisonment of my satin shoe.

I felt the warm gush of blood and

saw it out of the corner of my eye.

Feeling numb and proud of the gore,

I relied on adrenaline to coax me through the pain.

It makes me more valuable I thought.

Something happened to me when I finally

took the space to spread my bare feet into wood.

And stopped squeezing my body into small spaces.

For men and for dance.

I grew to like the abandon, the respite.

and the space between my toes

feels like an exhalation.