circling

i cannot find it.

i have been looking in spirals of crime shows,
promising serums, and sugar. 

the thud of reckoning 
seems to be coming
from deep underground. 

but I have been looking atop the parchment paper. 

there is a longing
for something below that feels like
a well of water, 
clean and cold. 

nectar- thick and honeyed
are painted up the brick walls of this place

though underground, it is
the color of both sun and sky
just waiting for me to discover it. 

what if it has been here all along 
 instead of out there 
in the intoxicating possibilities
and pulls of paradox and pain. 

my brain and body are circling each other 
like a cat and her tail
unaware of the complete resolution 
that is just a splash away.