I have a long time friend who has always argued with me on one point.   She says: “Hard times/hard people/hard events are NEVER my teachers~ they are simply my lessons.” She stands by this fast and hard, and I set out today to try to unpack the difference for myself and hopefully start a good dialogue with you.

I have always (eventually) thanked the people in my life who have hurt me for teaching me resilience, fortitude and the strength of my bounce.  Yes- they are my teachers who show up without an invitation, but later I always am grateful for the sand in the oyster they provided. They were not chosen teachers but teachers nonetheless. My friend and I  have always laughed and agreed to disagree on this point.

I venture to think that she thinks it gives them too much power to deem them teachers~and I get it.  It’s an important title.  But I also think giving them this title gives ME more power to construct a positive map of what’s happening and maybe even why.

I write this from the bench.  I had ankle surgery Friday and cannot bear weight for 2 weeks.  This time and injury is certainly my teacher–unwrapping lessons every day. That’s just it.  Teachers deliver lessons, whether they were asked in the door or not.

I am wondering what you think~ and how this rolls across your desk.  If  your feathers  get ruffled–good.  This deeply reflective work is supposed to work us over and rinse us out.  It’s about perspective and how we name something, and names and words matter.  Is the word or concept of teacher reserved only for those who we choose to learn from? Are there stories too painful in your life to say are teachers?The way we language our inner world directly affects our health and wellness, and it helps me to thank and bless the hard things and the hard people as teachers who helped redirect my path.  When I do this, the hurt seems to leave my body and not linger as much.

It’s easier with events than people.  It took me longer to name my heartbreakers as teachers, but now I can name them all with thanks and insight.  Why? Because all those dead ends landed me right into the arms of the right mate.  I choked out thanks for my heartbreaker teachers before I felt it, because it helped me let go quicker.

Teachers require relationship, learning, receptivity, and and exchange from us.  We have to recognize them as catalysts for shift in ourselves if we want to absorb their lessons.  I want to know what you think about this and how you language it in your life.